Dear Seth,

Early yesterday morning I had to go to the hospital. I'm scared. And now I have a better idea of what I have. Damn it I wish that you would get up the fucking courage, I need you so damned bad. Please.

The love I have for you is so much more than a letter here. I just hope that one day, if you ever read my letters, that you know exactly how much.

p.s. I love you

Dear Seth,

http://youtu.be/ECRRRcXycjI

p.s. I love you

Dear Seth,

http://letterstocrushes.com/letter/626210

p.s. I love you

Dear Seth,

Being in love with you is like going outside in the middle of a thunderstorm, it's fucking insane. 

Tonight my emotions are all over the place. I did not realize, at the time, that I was setting myself up for the ultimate heartbreak. I have to laugh at myself because of who you are. I feel so damned stupid right now. But I do know that if I went back in time I would do the same thing over again. 

Just a little while ago I found myself subconsciously rubbing the left side of my chest. Not because it hurt (this time), but because of what I had forever etched there; your name. And when ever I find myself brave enough, I look down. It is my source of comfort. 

p.s. I love you

Dear Seth,

I'm here at Peet's in Millbrae. I'm shaking so badly right now. I don't know whether it's from the caffiene or lack  of sleep. Probably both. Only an hour left until I head into San Francisco. I'm so sad. :/

p.s. I love you

Dear Seth,

Tonight, again, you broke my heart. I should have expected something like this, but hell I still held out hope. This fucking sucks. I hope that one day you don't regret not coming.

My one last and final shot, I know that I'll be at Peet's, near your house (sorry gorgeous home) bright and early in the morning. Insomnia is an evil bastard.

p.s. I love you

Dear Seth,

So this is what I am going to ask of you, please. Yesterday, while holding nothing in my hand, I watched my arm and hand turn a purplish blue. What I kept telling myself is okay just make it a little while longer, just give me the chance to tell him how I feel. Though tired, I am here and ready.

p.s. I love you

Dear Seth,

I'm tired, but made it. I'm here. This mornings sunrise was so beautiful, I almost cried. Did you watch it?

Hopefully see you later, as I am really tired. I don't know if I'm going to make it to the coffee shop at 11:11 :/

p.s. I love you

Dear Seth,

I am emotionally and physically drained. This past day has almost been too much. Mom got the official diagnoses. She now takes a little pink pill every morning. It breaks my heart to see a once viberant woman reduced to this. It's not fucking fair.

The reason I am up at all is because I am coming to San Francisco for one day. God I wish you were there when I arrive early Saturday morning. I will be staying in Burlingame yet again. It is going to feel nice having some warmth on my face.

I hope you are fairing better than myself.

p.s. I love you

Dear Seth,

I have something planned for Valentine's Day. I'm nervous, scared and my heart is tripping something crazy right now. Oh God, I think I'm about to puke. I have my hopes pinned on something that.. I just don't know. All my life I have been let down. This is just one more thing that I am expecting will happen. Though I have no solid religion, I pray that what I'm about to do comes true. 

p.s. I love you