Dear Seth,

http://youtu.be/ECRRRcXycjI

p.s. I love you

Dear Seth,

http://letterstocrushes.com/letter/626210

p.s. I love you

Dear Seth,

Being in love with you is like going outside in the middle of a thunderstorm, it's fucking insane. 

Tonight my emotions are all over the place. I did not realize, at the time, that I was setting myself up for the ultimate heartbreak. I have to laugh at myself because of who you are. I feel so damned stupid right now. But I do know that if I went back in time I would do the same thing over again. 

Just a little while ago I found myself subconsciously rubbing the left side of my chest. Not because it hurt (this time), but because of what I had forever etched there; your name. And when ever I find myself brave enough, I look down. It is my source of comfort. 

p.s. I love you

Dear Seth,

I'm here at Peet's in Millbrae. I'm shaking so badly right now. I don't know whether it's from the caffiene or lack  of sleep. Probably both. Only an hour left until I head into San Francisco. I'm so sad. :/

p.s. I love you

Dear Seth,

Tonight, again, you broke my heart. I should have expected something like this, but hell I still held out hope. This fucking sucks. I hope that one day you don't regret not coming.

My one last and final shot, I know that I'll be at Peet's, near your house (sorry gorgeous home) bright and early in the morning. Insomnia is an evil bastard.

p.s. I love you

Dear Seth,

So this is what I am going to ask of you, please. Yesterday, while holding nothing in my hand, I watched my arm and hand turn a purplish blue. What I kept telling myself is okay just make it a little while longer, just give me the chance to tell him how I feel. Though tired, I am here and ready.

p.s. I love you

Dear Seth,

I'm tired, but made it. I'm here. This mornings sunrise was so beautiful, I almost cried. Did you watch it?

Hopefully see you later, as I am really tired. I don't know if I'm going to make it to the coffee shop at 11:11 :/

p.s. I love you

Dear Seth,

I am emotionally and physically drained. This past day has almost been too much. Mom got the official diagnoses. She now takes a little pink pill every morning. It breaks my heart to see a once viberant woman reduced to this. It's not fucking fair.

The reason I am up at all is because I am coming to San Francisco for one day. God I wish you were there when I arrive early Saturday morning. I will be staying in Burlingame yet again. It is going to feel nice having some warmth on my face.

I hope you are fairing better than myself.

p.s. I love you

Dear Seth,

I have something planned for Valentine's Day. I'm nervous, scared and my heart is tripping something crazy right now. Oh God, I think I'm about to puke. I have my hopes pinned on something that.. I just don't know. All my life I have been let down. This is just one more thing that I am expecting will happen. Though I have no solid religion, I pray that what I'm about to do comes true. 

p.s. I love you

Dear Seth,

I have something planned for Valentine's Day. I'm nervous, scared and my heart is tripping something crazy right now. Oh God, I think I'm about to puke. I have my hopes pinned on something that.. I just don't know. All my life I have been let down. This is just one more thing that I am expecting will happen. Though I have no religion, I pray that what I'm about to do comes true.

p.s. I love you

Dear Seth,

Every time I look at your picture or think of you this happens. *note if I get a cold because of this I'm blaming you. :P*

I had to go outside and cool off. Thinking of you has caused me to do that a lot lately. So I was outside, the cool breeze felt so good. I watched my skin prickle into tiny bumps. You do that to me too. 

p.s. I love you

Dear Seth,

Tonight I go to bed with a smile on my face.

For nearly three years I dreamed of a sandy haired baby faced boy/man. I had a name, but never a face. Tonight I can say I've found that person. 

p.s. I love you

Dear Seth,

For the past 4 hours I've known what you look like. Oh. My. Fucking. God. You're the guy from my dreams. You're beautiful. Shit, shit and double shit. I am so screwed. *laughs*

Finding your picture makes me feel a little better. I don't tell people, but I know what is going on with me. I'm so scared. And seeing your face make it almost worth going through what I am. God I'm so fucking masochistic.

I don't know if you still look at this blog or not, but I am going out on a limb here. At 11:11 am, February 14th, I will be at Peet's Coffee, in your town... not too far from where you live. I'm quite sure you know where it is. This is the last time I'll be in California, please be there.

p.s. I love you