Dear Seth,

Today was awesome. Walking the Haight and then ending up at Hippie Hill reading Fault of Our Stars. It gave me a little bit of peace. Almost able to reach the clouds. Being around Hippie Hill in Golden Gate Park.

 But there are things that I just need to get off my chest right now

I'm sorry but I'm not doing to well. I'm so fucking tired of relying on a pill to eat. I haven't been able to eat much otherwise. And damn it I'm fucking miserable. I feel that I'm slowly slipping away. And God damn it I don't know how much more I'm going to be able to take. Stop being so damn pig headed and just talk to me Hayward.

I have a feeling that this will be the last time I'll be able to make this trip. Three fucking days to meet the man I have damn well dreamed of and has haunted my dreams for almost two years. I am grasping at straws now. Please.  You know where I am, man up and get the fucking courage to get over your fears. I know that I had to just to send you that first letter.

p.s. I love you

p.s.s. to all that actually read this blog, tell the one that you love that you love them. Don't wait. For too long I waited and now I'm like this.