Dear Seth,

Well it's been one hell of a hard ass day for me. I'm so beyond exhausted right now from all the crying I have done. *sniffs*  The doctors finally diagnosed me. It isn't good if it's not treated in time. They said something about having pheochromocytomy. And what that means is I have a tumor on at least my kidney if not other places. And that there is too much adrenaline coursing through me. It is affecting my blood pressure among other things.

So on Tuesday I leave for San Francisco to get more testing and treatment done. God how I would love to see you. But what fucking tears me up the most is that seeing you just might literally kill me. So all I have or might ever have is writing you letters that will come to pass, for now. But to be honest I really do need to see you. I have to know....

So I have a plan and I hope it all works out.

I hope that you had a great day. The sunset tonight there looked beautiful. I can't wait to be there to see it too.

Goodnight and sweet dreams.

p.s. I love you