Dear Seth,

Sometimes, like now, I just want to hate you so much but I can't. It seems like everything that I see, touch or breath in is infused with the memory of you. God damn it. My mind won't forget you. Fuck I know that I'm so screwed. And a part of me says to hell with it but another say that nothing will ever happen. That's what hurts the most. Damn it Hayward I do love you. I thought that maybe it would be this town that I loved the most but it's not. It doesn't feel right without you here. I still love it but it's just really weird. And tonight/ day I'm questioning why I ever decided to write more than I expected on letters to crushes. It all feels so fucked up when you fall for the one you least expect to. God how I wish you were here in Mt. Pleasant for the 4th. I want and need you here so badly it's starting to become evidently painful. Maybe one day you'll come. I just don't know.

Well I hope that you're having a great day and that you're smiling and that the sun is shining. You deserve it.

p.s I love you