Dear Seth,

You'll always be my 11:11 wish, or the first star I see in the night sky. My dreams some how are always about you in some way. Tears, smiles and laughter as well. Or the ever epic loneliness of wanting you near. To for once hear your voice. Tonight I sleep alone but think of you by my side.

See the reason why I'm traveling like I am is because I want to see everything before I might not get the chance. I want to experience life beyond my walls. See I'm so terrified that I won't be able to in the future. Maybe what I do on ltc will have a lasting impact. That's the kind of legacy I want to leave, if nothing else. Being on chat or writing a letter either to you or just about something in general gives me comfort. Only being able to love you is greater. And right now I am doing that.

Someone, tonight, talked to me about letting go.  I can't. There is just something there that won't let me let you go. I'm so sorry if that doesn't fit well with you. There are times that I just want to be free of this hold you somehow have on me. But then I think honestly what is life without you in mine, no matter how insignificant? You have kept me going when I have just wanted to give in and scream. Thank you.

And now truly, good night and sweet dreams. May tomorrow be better than today. Don't forget to smile either.

p.s. I love you