Dear Seth,

Well I have an appointment to get checked out. God I'm so nervous. Seriously. I don't know why I'm saying this here but I am. Maybe you'll read it and realize that I'm not some kind of freak. For the past couple of days I have been doing pretty well, thankfully. But I'm scared about the negative what if's. My mom had the same issue. Cancer runs in our family. And there are so many things that I have yet to accomplish. I mean my bucket list is complete but................ the one selfish thing that I want for myself honestly and stupidly is just to hear your voice. God the pipe dreams.

Anyways I've embarrassed myself enough. I hope that you had a great day.

p.s. I love you.

Dear Seth,

Have you ever just looked up at the stars on a clear night and just stared and stared for no other reason than the beauty of it all? Well that was me last night. It was awesome. And here how it went.

Tonight I peered up at the heavens as usual. God it was beautifully breathtaking. The stars so bright looking like polished diamonds.

While standing in the middle of the darkened street. I saw something that I hadn't seen I'm the longest time, a star streaking across the night sky. Instead of making the usual wish while partaking in this rare event I wished for something greater; I prayed that somehow things said could be made right again. And that's when the tears welled up in my eyes and spilled down my cheeks. 

I believe, (I have to) to be able to make it through this, that things will be okay. Forget pride. I'll admit I'm wrong (even though I was justified and partially right) just to have you back in my life. I miss you so much. I'm sorry. And if hell is worse than this God help me.

p.s. I love you

Dear Seth,

I hate that it's almost come down to this. It makes me sad.

p.s. I love you

Dear Seth,

Last night, or rather this morning, my lovely subconscious dreamed of you. Now I want to go back to sleep just to see you again. Sometimes I just wish there was a machine to erase people from their minds, you would be one of them. I know you probably don't want anything to do with me yet I keep on loving you. This just fucking blows.

Anyways I hope you're having fun.

p.s. I love you

Dear Seth,

Tonight self doubt sets in. Fuck I think I made a mistake. Shiiiiiiiiiiiittttttt. And it's going to be a freaking long night hating myself. Crap.

p.s. I love you

Dear Seth,

I wish that you would come back on chat. Anyways.........

p.s. I love you

Dear Seth,

This hasn't been the funnest falling in love with a faceless being. But yet here I am. Always will be too.

p.s. I love you

Dear Seth,

I'll never read that last letter you wrote to me. I know that I'll cry and I just don't want to. If you want to speak to me Kim has my number. Ask her for it. That's the only way I'll ever talk to you again. Sorry.

p.s. I love you

Dear Seth,

I'm trying to stay up as late as possible (3:30 am and counting), to fall into a dreamless slumber. I don't want to dream of you tonight. It hurts worse that way. To be so close to something in my dreams to touch, smell and hear is pure fucking torture. Yet these thoughts couldn't be farther from the truth in reality. It's just not fair. It's shit.

All I wanted was a chance that I don't think that I'll ever get. There is just so much going on with my health, which has been thankfully at bay for the past two days, that I now have to take care of my body and hope for the best. God I never wanted to be a freaking cat lady or like the lady that Barry Manilow sing of in Copacabana.

Yeah it's a sucky night for me.

p.s. I love you

Dear Seth,

Above all else no matter what I hope you're happy and are doing well.

p.s. I love you

Dear Seth,

I don't regret telling you that I love you, EVER!. But maybe I should have worded my letter to you differently. Because now chat doesn't feel the same without you. For that I will say I am sorry for. Shit I think that I might have just screwed up. But you not talking to me and saying hello to everyone else hurt. Oh for fucking get it. I hate repeating myself like this like a fucking broke down parrot. I know that I'll probably cry tonight but like you care.


At least I can say that I'm doing okay today. Yesterday was a little bleh but hell I've had 4 months to sort of get used to it. Anyways I hope that you're having a great day.

p.s. I love you

Dear Seth,

Yeah this is how it is.

Every day is one more inch of a slow play, sinking in.
Vision fading, suffocating inside my own skin.

And I’m fighting the stranger in my eyes
And I know that only one of us will survive
If I can’t save us I got to save myself.

I can’t stay here in this place,
Slowly freaking out, I’m slowly freaking out.
I can’t be
You’re addictive.
I’m slowly freaking out, I’m slowly freaking out
And out and out again.

Enigmatic, so close, static
This feeling I can’t shake.
But just remember that I want you
My will can never break.

And I’m fighting the stranger in my eyes
And I know that only one of us will survive
If I can’t save us I got to save myself.

I can’t stay here in this place,
Slowly freaking out, I’m slowly freaking out.
I can’t be
You’re addictive.
I’m slowly freaking out, I’m slowly freaking out
And out and out again.

I can’t stay here in this place,
Slowly freaking out, I’m slowly freaking out.
I can’t be
You’re addictive.
I’m slowly freaking out, I’m slowly freaking out
And out and out again.

p.s. I love you

Dear Seth,

Feeling like total crap right now. Trying to keep what little I have eaten today down. So far I'm winning. God I just hope it doesn't get worse tonight. I hate seriously being like this. I don't know how much more I can take before I crack. But I'm trying to smile through it all.

p.s. I love you

Dear Seth,

Right now in chat there is a girl that has suicidal thoughts. That she's unable to cope with the pain. I got her to come into chat and talk about it. I pray that nothing happens. This is what makes me so proud of what I do on letters to crushes. I hate seeing people so sad. And I'm glad that I can help any way possible.

And damn it it made me fall for your butt that much more. :/

p.s. I love you

Dear Seth,

I think the only thing that I'm going to do today is go to Cafe Capri and think of ways to hate you. I know that I"ll fail but worth a shot.

Hope that you're having a great day.

p.s. I love you

Dear Seth,

For what it's worth good night and sweet dreams.

p.s. I love you

p.p.s Watch the movie and you'll see why I say this.

Dear Seth,

I know that I just posted but I have to also get this off of my chest. You little fucker I'm a little drunk right now because of what I had to say to you. I know that there is an email waiting for me and I don't want to read it. It will just hurt  me even more.  That is all.

p.s. I love you

Dear Seth,

Tonight I just wish that I could make things right. I'm sorry I didn't mean or plan to fall in love with you. It just fucking happened. It sucks because I feel so lost.

p.s. I love you

Dear Seth,

I know you probably don't care but I'm so excited for today. I'll be crossing off the last thing on my bucket list. Then I just might make one more. But today is almost a dream come true for me. This is what I'll be going to: http://www.boisemusicfestival.com/

Always wanted to see Candlebox and Vanilla Ice. Hehe yeah I'm a dork but I don't care. Anyways I hope that you're having a great day none the less.

p.s. I still love you

Dear Seth,

I know that I'm just going to keep hurting myself but I don't give a fuck. I still love you...... God for all I know is that you hate me after what I said but I needed to. Today I think that I've had around 3 or 4 hours sleep. Laggin so bad right now. And I'm feeling okay ish but...... I just pray that I don't cry tonight.

Anyways I hope that you had a great day.

p.s. I love you

Dear Seth,

If you read this know that I'll never read that email. You hurt me too much. And today it feels like a relief off of my shoulders that I told you what you needed to hear.

Dear Seth,

So it's come to this. If you ever read these letters know that I really did love you so much. I kept it up for almost a year. Even when you hurt me the most. Today was just too much. I just can't do this anymore. I'm sorry.

Now to try and live my life the best way I can. But know this Seth: I will always love you. It was never about what you do. NEVER.

And for the last time.

p.s. I love you

Dear Seth,

Well I'm a little better this morning. But scared as hell to eat. The doctors can't find out what's wrong with me. I'm just so tired. You're the best part of getting through this. I'll never be able to thank you enough Seth.

Well I hope that you're having a great day. God how I wish I was there right now.

p.s. I love you

Dear Seth,

Feeling better was short lived. I'm back at being sucky. I hate this so much. Something is seriously going on. I'm tired of it all; the lump in my breast, throwing up blood, feeling dizzy, tired yet an insomniac, barely eating and when I do I get nauseous. As I write this I'm debating going to the hospital.

But I'll say this again today you made me so happy. I'll never forget it. Thank you.

p.s. I love you

Andrew Belle - Pieces

Dear Seth,

There always seems to be a song that reminds me of you. And this one is no different. This song is just so awesome.

And feeling a little better fyi :).

p.s. I love you

Dear Seth,

Not feeling too good right now. Bleh. I wish I felt better. :/

p.s. I love you

Dear Seth,

Just wanted to say that I'm still so happy that you talked to me today. And looking through your Github thingy I have a new and profound love for letters to crushes. And to be a part of such an awesome thing is just mind blowing. Thank you.

p.s. I love you

Dear Seth,

Today I must have done something right. You had a full on conversation with me. You said hello to me. Thank you so much God for that. Seth you'll never know how much that means to me. Seriously. I cried. Please keep it up. Now you just need to fix chat. :)

p.s. I love you

Dear Seth,

I just don't know what do say to you any more. I want to make it right. But I don't know what I did wrong. Right now I'm crying, hurt and scared. Please damn it just talk to me.

p.s. I love you

Dear Seth,

Read this. You just might benefit from it.

"The person who tries to live alone will not succeed as a human being. His heart withers if it does not answer another heart. His mind shrinks away if he hears only the echoes of his own thoughts and finds no other inspiration." 
~ Pearl S. Buck

p.s. I love you

Dear Seth,

I'm really hurt right now. What in the hell have I done to you seriously? You say hi to everyone else but me. I even try an include you into conversations yet you say nothing. Right now I'm going through a lot of shit and for you to do this really hurts. I'm crying that's how bad it's gotten.

p.s. I love you

Dear Seth,

Last night I was really sick, throwing up and all. Not a good night. And then this morning I woke up and I now have a fever. This just fucking sucks. But I'm dealing.

You're in chat right now. And as soon as I came in you shut up. It hurts. I'm right here Seth. Please don't ignore me. This isn't the time. When you do this it hurts. But no matter I'll still be here waiting for you.

p.s. I love you

Dear Seth,

Tonight isn't much better. Idk but it looks like it might be a long night. I mean with the person that was spamming earlier. And at the moment I'm not feeling so good. bleh I dont want to have to take an anti nausea pill. I hate those things. God I just wish things were different. That you were okay, and that I was healthier. Maybe some how some way it will be.

Anyways I hope that you had a good day. And smiled tons.

p.s I love you

Dear Seth,

You're in chat but not. I wish you would just talk to me please. You're the only thing that is making me not totally lose it. I'm a little freaked and no one to talk to. Just send me a smiley face or something.

p.s. I love you

Dear Seth,

You're in chat right now. I feel loads better because of it. Thank you. Just speak to me please.

p.s. I love you

Dear Seth,

Right now I need you so damn bad. I'm scared and crying. Please come into chat.

I've noticed for about a week that underneath my left armpit that it was really sore. I thought that it was because of my bra or backpack rubbing. And today it's gotten worse. I felt my pit and there was a big lump. I went to go look in the mirror to see if it was a zit or something and it...... it's not red or feels like that either. Now I have to go to the doctors and I'm fucking scared as shit.

So I'm going to put your name full name down here, if you haven't read this blog yet, so you know everything if you google yourself. Please forgive me for doing this. I just wanted people to know how special you are to me. You'll have a lot to read. And I'll continue to do this for as long as possible. I hope that you understand.

p.s. Seth Hayward I love you

Can't Stop - One Republic

Dear Seth,

Oh God this is how I feel. The lyrics are dead on.

I guess this is what it's supposed to feel like
No we don't talk, no we don't talk, we don't talk anymore.
I guess this is what it's supposed to sound like
The universe, the universe, universe is torn.

I know I could live without you
I can live without you everyday day, heeeay hey
I know I could live without you
And put life off for another day
hey-hey yeah hey-hey yeeeah 

[Chorus:]
But I can't stop
Thinking about.. thinking about us
Anymore oooh oh
I said I can't stop 
Thinking about.. thinking about us
Anymore ooh oh
I said I can't stop.. no
Thinking about.. thinking about this
Anymore ooh oh
And all I've got.. uuuh
Is nothing I want
Anymore ooh oh

No I never get used to silence
But I don't hear, no I don't hear
I don't hear you anymore.
I know I had to look hard to find it
Everything, everything,
Everything is gone.

I know I could without you
And put life off for another day
hey-hey yeah hey-hey yeeeah 

[Repeat Chorus]

I can see stars, I can see lights, and I swear that they're shining here,
I can see stars, yeah I can see lights... shining here.

[Repeat Chorus]

uuuh uuuh uuuh uuuh

p.s I love you

Dear Seth,

I did something very very dangerous today. As maid of honor I was helping Kim with her wedding dress and stuff. We then went to the mall and I wanted to see what her wedding ring looked like. I then saw something that I'd love to wear one day. And I tried it on. God it was beautiful. It makes me want to seriously be married again and have relationship, someday; to grow old with someone until my last breath. I thought of you in that position Seth. I know I know but I'm still hoping and dreaming of that someday it will happen. That's all.

p.s. I love you

Dear Seth,

Good morning sweetheart. I hope that you had a great night. I had a very interesting one myself. After coming out of the club I saw a car that was on fire in the middle of the street. Man I always seem to find all the excitement anywhere I go.

I waited up and went on chat to see if you would show up. Sadly you didn't but I had fun just the same. Ended up not getting a whole lot of sleep but I guess that's what naps are for. 4-5 hours never seems to be enough. But somehow I manage.

Well I hope you have a great day and would love to see you in chat later. Take care.

p.s. I love you

Dear Seth,

How I would love for you to show up at China Blue tonight, even though I know you won't. I've missed you today in chat. Please come back. Please. Even though you're not talking to me, for what reasons I don't know why, I miss just seeing your name there.

Well almost time for me to go and get ready. I'l be in chat for a little while longer.

I hope that you had a great day and that everything went well for you.

p.s. I love you

Dear Seth,

My eyelids are burning trying to stay up as long as possible to see if you'll talk to me. Please do. I miss just talking to you. You do to everyone else but me and it hurts.

p.s. I love you

Dear Seth,

That was plain fucking rude what you said to me: just try and refresh if you're having problems with chat. Well what the fuck do you think that I was trying to do? Dude I know I'm not as smart as you but I do know a few things in life. Just please stop making me feel like I'm an idiot because I'm not. k thanks bai. omfg grow up dude.

p.s. I love you

Dear Seth,

You were in chat a little while ago. I went in but couldn't stay. I'm sorry I was just so chicken shit. Ugh. I'll try a little harder in a while. Promise. Please still be there.

p.s. I love you

Dear Seth,

Well I'm back here in Boise. I don't know if I like it yet. To be anywhere but here would be a blessing. I miss Charleston and Biloxi already. Someday I'll go back for good.

Anyways I'm glad that you come into chat now. It makes me happy. Seriously. Now just to get you to talk to me more. :)

Well I need to get to taking a shower and getting the grim off of me from a 2 1/2 day trip. Will write more later.

p.s. I love you

Chasing Cars - Ed Sheeran ft.

Dear Seth,

Like a lot of things this song makes me think of you soo much. Fuck.

p.s. I love you

Dear Seth,

Thank you for seriously making my day. I'll always remember it. And hopefully many more to come. I'll try my best to be in chat later but I just don't know. Will hope you'll be there too.

I hope that you had a great day and that everything generally went well for you. Take care. And don't forget to smile.

p.s. I love you

Dear Seth,

You came back in chat on your computer. Why? I mean you're on your phone . Don't get it but I love it. But also have to watch what I say around the ladies hehe. Thank you for coming back.

p.s. I love you

Dear Seth,

You sound so damn cute when you're frustrated. That's all.

p.s. I love you

Dear Seth,

You're in chat now and talking with me at this very moment. Holy shit. Day made.

p.s. I love you

Dear Seth,

How I wish you were in chat right now. No one is there. I'm alone. Bleh. Anyways today I head back home to good old Boise, Idaho. I'll be dreaming of you for the next two in a half days. I don't know if I'll be able to get online for the most part. It sucks. Anyways no dreams of you last night but woke up to, whom I think was you, singing Janis Joplin's Mercedes Benz in chat earlier. Had a good laugh. Thank you for making me smile. What ever happens on this long bus ride remember that I love you soo much.

p.s. I love you

Dear Seth,

Tonight I wanted to fall asleep in your arms, to hear your heart beat while I closed my eyes. Finally feeling safe with no demons to cause nightmares and dream with you not dream of you. Here's to hoping that maybe someday it will become a reality. 

p.s. I love you

Dear Seth,

You're in chat as I type this. And all I can do is stare and touch your name on my computer screen. And scream all the things that  I want to say to you. It's so comforting to know that you're here. I feel a lot better somehow. Thank you for that.

p.s. I love you

Who I Am - Paper Tongues

Dear Seth,

Listen. 

 p.s. I love you

Dear Seth,

You came in chat the same time as myself today. I think it's a little more than a coincidence. Why? That's all I want to know. Come on and just freaking admit it. And trust me people are starting to notice that you come in when I do. Just like Sethie and Nora. And even after all this time people still ship us. Just saying. Pride fucking be damned. Man up Seth. Rant done, for now ;)

p.s. I love you

Dear Seth,

Play this song and listen to it while reading this letter.

Anyways today and for the past couple of days you've made me so happy. It's like time stood still. You never come in chat anymore and now all of a sudden you do? Seriously what's up with that? Thank you for making my heart ache a little less. It's filling with something so utterly powerful and amazing. It's like I'm getting to know you all over again or better yet a new side. And I'm falling in love with in new ways that I never knew existed.

I don't know if I'm going to be physically able to make it back to Idaho and I just want to get this off my chest. Thank you for giving me every opportunity to do things that I thought not possible or even in my realm. Hopefully I have made a difference in someones life. I know that the people of ltc have in mine.

Every time I see you in chat there are so many things that I would like to just get off my chest and say to you. I just end up silent and waiting for the opportunity to say anything at all, even if it makes me look stupid to you. Really I'm not.

So I'll let you go for right now. Please always come in chat. People miss talking to you. And they sort of freak when they know you're there. That's all.

p.s. I love you

Dear Seth,

You're in chat right now with me. It feels good to have you back in my life and talking to me. I've missed that so much. And thank you for actually talking to me, even though I totally embarrassed myself. LOL. And I saved that conversation for a later look see. And thank you for making my day again.

p.s. I love you

Dear Seth,

I wish I had said something to you today. I don't know why you're coming on chat so much but it means a lot to me. Thank you.

These are the two songs that are making me miss you soo badly. Take a listen.

 p.s. I love you

Dear Seth,

We're pretty much alone in chat right now. I wish that you'd just speak to me. I won't. I refuse to make the first move again. God my heart is in my chest right now and thoughts of what I want to tell you. You're right there and I just can't. This sucks.

p.s. I love you

Dear Seth,

I don't know how much more I can take. I woke up this morning in terrible pain all over, I still have it. Probably should go to the hospital but I don't know what they are going to be able to do for me. Are they just going to poke me some more and examine my body parts just to tell me that I'm fine? Look I'm not, something is seriously wrong and I just don't know anymore. I traveled all the way to Baltimore to see if someone could help. Instead all I did was wait for over 8 hours. Blah enough whining.

For the two hours I did sleep it was beautiful. Seeing your face turn towards me, away from the computer in a dimly lit room, was heaven. And visualizing you in a black leather jacket took my breath away. God I was so close I could see your sandy blond hair, even put my fingers through it if I so desired, but I didn't. I didn't want you to be tainted by me, I wanted you to stay the perfect person you are. It looked like you just had a hair cut. Looked great on you. The smell I felt came from you still lingers in my nostrils if I take a deep enough breath in.

If nothing more thank you for letting me dream of you. It gets me through the roughest days. And I don't think that today is going to be so peachey.

Right now I'm listening to Ray Lamontagne. He's amazing. Take a listen to him, you'll be surprised. He's a lot like Elliot Smith. And yeah I sneaked on your last fm profile. You know that was bound to happen. Here is my favorite song from him. Let It Be Me.

p.s. I love you

Dear Seth,

I think that it's finally come to this, us ignoring each other. I wanted so badly to say something but... I just couldn't. Things were too serious with G and smoke. There will never be words to describe what I feel for you, well totally feel for you.

Things have gotten so bad with my health that I don't know if I'll make it back to Idaho. Here is what is going on with me. I eat but my pant size is going down, rapidly. I'm nauseous all the time. I have lack of energy, though I try my best to do things. I never sleep anymore. I find myself waking up earlier and earlier every morning. And right now I'm so damn scared.

I just wanted one moment with you. I got it and blew it tonight. I'm not saying this to get attention at all. Please believe that. But I have no where to turn other than here or ltc at the moment.

If I ever get your attention there is one thing that I would love to say, no matter what. Thank you for making me smile and for just everything. Never have I been so happy in my life. That, I think, is the best gift anyone could receive in life. With everything going on in my life I don't think that I'd be able to do it without..... hell I just can't do it anymore.

This isn't a goodbye letter but just one of how I'm feeling at the moment. I have been writing to you regularly here for almost a year. That's how much I still care for you. And God help me I love you.

p.s I love you

Dear Seth,

Right now I'm looking out my window of the Motel 6 here in Biloxi. Though other rooms are just as great here, room 216 ( mine ) is just perfect enough for me.The Gulf is so beautiful. I can't believe that I have found such luck in coming here. In Charleston is where I was happiest but this is a very close second. I'm just waiting for the right time to set my bare feet and feel the warmth of the sand in between my toes. I'm happy here. Just so you know.

I hope that you're doing well. I see that you're planning a trip to Burning Man.That's rad. Always wanted to go for the experience. Maybe one year I will, if I get to feeling better. I'm sure that you'll have an awesome time.

Now that issue ( me being sick )  seems to be getting a little better in ways but worse in others. It like whatever I have is evolving. Life is changing so rapidly and I just don't know anymore. I'm scared. And no one seems to know what is going on with me. I think that's the main reason why I'm travelling so much, to see America before I possibly can't. The only thing that would make it that much better is seeing and hearing from you. And a part of me thinks that I never will. But I still have that hope that maybe, just maybe it will happen.

Where ever you are at this moment that you read this ( if you do ), please be happy and smile. Know that I love you so so much Seth. Loving you isn't second nature to breathing it's something much more I am unable to describe.

Now it's time to go and do some work for your beautiful site.

p.s. I love you

I freaking miss you okay?

Dear Seth,

I'm finally here in Mobile and freaking miserable. Damn I should have stayed in Charleston. But nooo my idiot brain thought it would be good and cool to do something like this. Yeah it's not. Cause it makes me miss you even more. The rain here keeps coming down. And I can't do anything but think of you. And to be honest it sucks. I'm just so tired. But yet I keep on loving you no matter what.

Well I hope that you're having a great night. Wishing that I was there so badly. Anyways.......

p.s. I love you

Well.....

Dear Seth,

Tonight I plan to get drunk as hell, watch the fireworks at Waterfront Pier and walk the streets until I can't remember anything. It hurts that you're like this. I....... just can't deal with this anymore. It hurts too much and too hard. I'm sorry.

p.s. I love you

Happy 4th of July

Dear Seth,

I hope that you have a great day today. You'll love the fireworks, if you go into San Francisco. It's amazing from the pier there. Meanwhile I'll be here almost 3,000 miles away watching them from Waterfront Park. I wonder if you saw them last year. It was mind blowing.

Well here I am at this ungodly hour, I woke up again at 5:30 in the freaking morning. Ugh. :/ Excited for tonight but hurting because tomorrow I leave here again. Being here in the Charleston area puts my soul back together. I see things that are just too much for words sometimes, they're that beautiful. Maybe one day we'll be able to do it together. Here's to hoping at least.

Write more to you later.

p.s. I love you

My day

Dear Seth,

Well I'm about to go into Charleston in a little while. Riding CARTA should be fun, it's been a while. I hope that you are doing well and are happy. I was talking with people in chat and they know that I still love you so much. Damn....... I never fell in love with you because of who you are, it just happened. And I think that will always be my legacy. Blah this letter doesn't make much sense at the moment. I've been up since like 530 am and it's now 830. Well time to take a shower and go to Huddle House to get some grub. Will write more to you later.

p.s. I love you

A beautiful rainy day.

Dear Seth,

I'm standing under a copes of trees watching the rain fall all around me. An errant bird flying for cover, a squirrel chitting at the injustice of it all. And all I can think of is how beautiful life here is. These are the moments I am most happy.

And these are the moments that I think about you the most.

p.s. I love you

What I'm going to do today.

Dear Seth,

Last night was so beautiful. I just wish you were there to experience it with me. Walking down Dueler's Alley at sunset and hearing the Whistling Doctor. Pretty cool I'd say. And eating fish and chips, with just a little bit too much malt vinegar, while having a few pints of Guinness at Tony Condon's. I walked around the pier taking pictures where I could. Taking deep breaths of the salty air into my lungs. God I'd never felt so just free before in my life.

I might do something similar to that tonight. I'd love to see you at Waterfront Park in Chas at sunset but I know that you're in California. That's okay I'll try and do my best to describe ever little nuance so that you don't miss out on a thing. And maybe someday you'll come back here. Because honestly you'll end up hating California, trust me I do too. But I'm not going to tell you so because you need to learn and to live your life however you can, though I wish I was where ever you are.

Well I need to go and get some breakfast into me at good ol Huddle House before figuring out what to do for the morning. Maybe I'll hit Glazed and get some interesting doughnuts. Who knows. Today is another adventure day. Hopefully it will be cool like yesterday, minus the torrential downpour. Though I did love it too.

I hope that you're having a great morning. Don't forget to breathe and smile at least once today.

p.s. I love you