Dear Seth,
This is all I think that I have almost wanted to say to you. Thank God that Tyler Knott Gregson was able to write it so aptly.
I want rainfall and I want your hair soaked in it. I want green grass
and light pouring in through tree branches and slow steady steps towards
me. I want the sound of nothing when it’s shared with you, I want to
gasp as nothing always becomes something when your hand is in my hand
and the night unfolds. I want movies that play as we don’t bother
watching them and I want kisses in the back of the theater when we
forget people can see. I want popcorn spills and candy hands
and the stillness we swear lives around us. I want the noise rustling
grocery bags make when you try to squeeze them to all be carried in one
trip and I want the fullness of pantry shelves and I want the standing
with hands on hips and long stares into them to unearth the secret of
what dinner will consist of. I want the slow motion fall of hair that
was cut and I want the chuckling laughter when you cut a spot too short.
I want to watch the broom sweep back and forth and forth and back and I
want to hold the dustpan to catch the cast aside pieces of me you no
longer thought I needed. I want your feet in my hands and my thumbs
sore from pressing out the hours you spent on them. I want laughter
that comes on so suddenly that everyone around us thinks our tears are
of sorrow and our breath abandoned us like we were sinking ships and the
sea was filled with lifeboats. I want to be the mirror that watches
you disapprove of yourself and I want to be the voice that comes in at
the perfect moment to say how beautiful the exact spot you didn’t know I
knew you were staring at is.
p.s. I love you
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