Dear Seth,
I never thought that I could honestly have so much empathy for someone. Well you've definitely have taken the cake plus the frosting too.
Well tonight I am going out and having fun. I can't wait. You on the other hand will be sitting home alone. ALONE. And that's what's so sad and pathetic. But that's okay too. You'll always be like that. I won't.
I'm in the middle of deleting all of the letters ( minus a few ) that I've ever written to you. And the great thing is is that I don't feel sad or much of anything else. But whatever. Doesn't matter anymore anyways.
p.s. I really don't like you
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Monday, October 29, 2012
I Almost Do - Taylor Swift
http://youtu.be/Lh3_OSe_u1s
I bet this time of night you're still up
I bet you're tired from a long hard week
I bet you're sitting in your chair by the window
Looking out at the city
And I bet sometimes you wonder about me
And I just want to tell you
It takes everything in me not to call you
And I wish I could run to you
And I hope you know every time I don't
I almost do
I almost do
I bet you think I either moved on or hate you
Cuz each time you reach out there's no reply
I bet it never ever occurred to you that I can't say hello to you
And risk another goodbye
And I just want to tell you
It takes everything in me not to call you
And I wish I could run to you
And I hope you know that every time I don't
I almost do
I almost do
Oh we made quite a mess babe
It's probably better off this way
And I confess babe
In my dreams you're touching my face
And asking me if I want to try again with you
And I almost do
And I just want to tell you
It takes everything in me not to call you
And I wish I could run to you
And I hope you know that every time I don't
I almost do
I almost do
I bet this time of night you're still up
I bet you're tired from a long hard week
I bet you're sitting in your chair by the window looking out at the city
And I hope sometimes you wonder about me
I bet this time of night you're still up
I bet you're tired from a long hard week
I bet you're sitting in your chair by the window
Looking out at the city
And I bet sometimes you wonder about me
And I just want to tell you
It takes everything in me not to call you
And I wish I could run to you
And I hope you know every time I don't
I almost do
I almost do
I bet you think I either moved on or hate you
Cuz each time you reach out there's no reply
I bet it never ever occurred to you that I can't say hello to you
And risk another goodbye
And I just want to tell you
It takes everything in me not to call you
And I wish I could run to you
And I hope you know that every time I don't
I almost do
I almost do
Oh we made quite a mess babe
It's probably better off this way
And I confess babe
In my dreams you're touching my face
And asking me if I want to try again with you
And I almost do
And I just want to tell you
It takes everything in me not to call you
And I wish I could run to you
And I hope you know that every time I don't
I almost do
I almost do
I bet this time of night you're still up
I bet you're tired from a long hard week
I bet you're sitting in your chair by the window looking out at the city
And I hope sometimes you wonder about me
Dear Seth,
Shit, shit, shit. I'm still in love with you. I've been trying my damnedest to kill the feelings. I can't. Fuck and now here the tears come. Son of a bitch this is going to be a rough night for me. So fuck it all. You are truly the last person that I will love.
Well I hope that you're having a good night and are staying safe. I'm so thankful that Hurricane Sandy isn't headed towards you or I'd really be freaking out right now.
I'll try and write more later.
p.s. I love you
Shit, shit, shit. I'm still in love with you. I've been trying my damnedest to kill the feelings. I can't. Fuck and now here the tears come. Son of a bitch this is going to be a rough night for me. So fuck it all. You are truly the last person that I will love.
Well I hope that you're having a good night and are staying safe. I'm so thankful that Hurricane Sandy isn't headed towards you or I'd really be freaking out right now.
I'll try and write more later.
p.s. I love you
Sunday, October 28, 2012
Seth if you are reading this I want to sincerely apologize to you. I am so very sorry. I never thought that it would come off like this at all. Just feel so sick about it. So much so that my stomach is clinching in a knot every time I think about it.
It hurts that all I was trying to do it tell everyone thank you for their comments. It's not like I can order them to stop writing. I have never heard anything bad about you being writing or I would have defended you wholeheartedly without a second though. Your feelings matter very much to me too. That's why I was going to leave to avoid the temptation. But then I got to reading all those sweet letters to me and those to you as well, and I thought hmm maybe I can do this ( be on the site ) and not write to you anymore. I'll be brave and just try to put my best foot forward and paste a smile on my face.
Then all hell broke loose last night with that very hurtful letter that that person wrote. So I wrote my response in the post below this one. Then this person writes back saying that I misread the letter. Bull fucking shit. I will always fight for you no matter what. I love you and will defend your honor and feelings, no matter what. And I have been blessed enough to do it for the past 5 almost 6 months. Anyways I'll let you go for now. I hope that you are doing well and that everything is ok with you, because on this end it really fucking sucks right now.
p.s. I love you and always will
It hurts that all I was trying to do it tell everyone thank you for their comments. It's not like I can order them to stop writing. I have never heard anything bad about you being writing or I would have defended you wholeheartedly without a second though. Your feelings matter very much to me too. That's why I was going to leave to avoid the temptation. But then I got to reading all those sweet letters to me and those to you as well, and I thought hmm maybe I can do this ( be on the site ) and not write to you anymore. I'll be brave and just try to put my best foot forward and paste a smile on my face.
Then all hell broke loose last night with that very hurtful letter that that person wrote. So I wrote my response in the post below this one. Then this person writes back saying that I misread the letter. Bull fucking shit. I will always fight for you no matter what. I love you and will defend your honor and feelings, no matter what. And I have been blessed enough to do it for the past 5 almost 6 months. Anyways I'll let you go for now. I hope that you are doing well and that everything is ok with you, because on this end it really fucking sucks right now.
p.s. I love you and always will
This is what I'm going through. You know that you're popular when you start getting hate mail. And this time it really affected me. So if you have nothing good to say about a person ( ok I may rant here but hell that's what this is for right? ). Don't say it at all. Words do affect a person's psyche. And this is what I wrote to their letter. And yes no matter what I still love Seth with all of my heart. Always will. That will never change.
This letter is to the writer of the letter that they so graciously wrote to me. Let me say this to YOU. When I read what you had written last night it broke me. I cried my heart out, and still am this morning.
Never had I been so ashamed to be on this site. EVER. I have done nothing but be a champion of yours. All I wanted to ever really do is make it a safe place for people to write. But people like yourself make it that much harder. And what you said almost made me leave for good. But I am not going to let you have that power over me.
What you said made makes me sick to my stomach. I am still in shock that you would even presume that I asked people to write letters to me like that. How dare you and shame on yourself. This is a community of love and togetherness. What they did was of their own free will ( and for that I love you guys). I would never ask something like that of them. Though one time I did ask them to like a letter that I had posted.
As for him. I have always concidered his feelings. ALWAYS! You need to start asking me instead of posting a letter condeming me for things that you know nothing about.
This is the last time I will address this issue. So please stop.
Thank you.
Saturday, October 27, 2012
Dear God,
Please don't let me dream of him tonight. I'm trying my best to get over him and I'm failing miserably. My heart hurts enough and I'm tired of crying.
I need my brain erased of the memory of him, because I'm still madly in love with him and continue to fall more and more each day. Help me please.
Friday, October 26, 2012
I'm pretty badly affected by what you told me. It's so bad that I cry all the time even though I laugh and cry. Pretty much a shell. I don't sleep really at all. And when I do I fucking dream of you, some of the most vivid dreams I might add too. I always have circles under my eyes. I don't eat. Or when I do it's all just one meal.
This is turning into a total nightmare. Sometimes I really wish that I had never found letters to crushes. But then I would have met all the lovely people that I now consider part of my family.
Somehow I am going to have to work this out. I'm going to try and be a brave little soldier and keep my head high.
But there is one thing that I would like to say to you are, no better yet write to you, Mr. Hayward you are a coward, and a coward that really has no heart. And for that I really feel so very sorry for you. Dude get it through your fucking head. I am JUST like you. Seriously. But you have your head soooo far up your ass that you can't see what's right in front of you.
Sadly I am, and always will be, in love with you.
p.s. I love you
Thursday, October 25, 2012
I don't know what I've ever done to deserve something like this. I'm just totally falling apart. I know I'm not totally gorgeous and all of that. My psyche is never going to be the same. I'll never be able to trust a man again. Thank you so much Mr. Hayward you are a fucking idiot. Yeah I said it. No regrets either.
But...........
p.s. I love you
But...........
p.s. I love you
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
This is to one of my best friends that I've ever had. Because of a stupid thing I didn't speak to her for months. I tried not to think about it but in the back of my mind she was always there. Like oooh you'd like this or that and blah blah blah. But she wasn't there to talk to.
Yeah I'm a sort of a stubborn old bitch and didn't want to give way. Last night I broke. When Seth hurt me like that, I didn't want to be alone or something like that. Granted I was a little buzzed from drinking an almost full bottle of Schnapp's, but I wanted my Kimmy back.
This morning I woke to an email from a mutual friend. We talked back and forth for a bit and I got Kim's number and we texted back and forth. And then she came to Moxie Java and we had a talk, we hugged and cried a bit. We shot the shit.
Already we are making plans for our next taco truck take over. So cannot wait for it. We are two of the most cray cray bitches when it comes to imbibing and tacos. Someone so needs to film us. For reals.
So Kim I love you and am thankful for you still being in my life. Even though my heart really really hurts, it feels better now that we are back to us. It makes the pain a little more bearable. And trick I'm listening to Red right now and bawling. Listening to Almost Do. Ugh. *sniffs* Love ya girlie girl.
And to all of you reading this right now. Please never underestimate friendship, EVER. Friendships are way more worth it than a piece of ass.
Yeah I'm a sort of a stubborn old bitch and didn't want to give way. Last night I broke. When Seth hurt me like that, I didn't want to be alone or something like that. Granted I was a little buzzed from drinking an almost full bottle of Schnapp's, but I wanted my Kimmy back.
This morning I woke to an email from a mutual friend. We talked back and forth for a bit and I got Kim's number and we texted back and forth. And then she came to Moxie Java and we had a talk, we hugged and cried a bit. We shot the shit.
Already we are making plans for our next taco truck take over. So cannot wait for it. We are two of the most cray cray bitches when it comes to imbibing and tacos. Someone so needs to film us. For reals.
So Kim I love you and am thankful for you still being in my life. Even though my heart really really hurts, it feels better now that we are back to us. It makes the pain a little more bearable. And trick I'm listening to Red right now and bawling. Listening to Almost Do. Ugh. *sniffs* Love ya girlie girl.
And to all of you reading this right now. Please never underestimate friendship, EVER. Friendships are way more worth it than a piece of ass.
Dear Seth,
Ok so I lied this will probably be the last letter that I send you. Here it is I'm going to tell you every little last goddamn detail.
I just fell in love with you. I'm so sorry. I didn't want to either because I knew that it would just end in heartbreak, like it is now.
You sort of know what's going down but not everything. No I'm not doing this for attention either. I haven't been feeling well for a while. I've gone to doctors off and on. Cancer this and cancer that. Tests all coming back negative. Now it seems that my heart is having issues. Every once in awhile it used to seem to skip a beat or felt like it totally stop. Now it happens daily. Last week I had the scare of my life. It seems that the veins in my hand are bursting open and I'm bruising. Very painful to experience.
All that I wanted in my life is to up to this point is to love. And love I did and do. You Seth Hayward. Fuck this shit. But now I don't know where life is going to take me. I'm so scared to go to sleep for fear that I won't wake up. Just once I would have liked to seen your face or heard your voice. Now all I do is cry and scream in frustration. I don't know what I've done to you for me to feel so badly.
It took me 5 fucking years to be brave enough to fall in love and tell you that I did. Now I feel like shit and honestly worthless. It has taken me a lot of tears to get through the death of Marc and to try and move on.
Falling for you has been one of the best and worst things to happen to me. But I do not regret it one bit. I will always love you. Please just understand if you read this that I always will. I will never be in another relationship. You were my last hope.
Please take care Seth. Maybe one day I will get to meet you, one could only hope.
p.s. I love you
Ok so I lied this will probably be the last letter that I send you. Here it is I'm going to tell you every little last goddamn detail.
I just fell in love with you. I'm so sorry. I didn't want to either because I knew that it would just end in heartbreak, like it is now.
You sort of know what's going down but not everything. No I'm not doing this for attention either. I haven't been feeling well for a while. I've gone to doctors off and on. Cancer this and cancer that. Tests all coming back negative. Now it seems that my heart is having issues. Every once in awhile it used to seem to skip a beat or felt like it totally stop. Now it happens daily. Last week I had the scare of my life. It seems that the veins in my hand are bursting open and I'm bruising. Very painful to experience.
All that I wanted in my life is to up to this point is to love. And love I did and do. You Seth Hayward. Fuck this shit. But now I don't know where life is going to take me. I'm so scared to go to sleep for fear that I won't wake up. Just once I would have liked to seen your face or heard your voice. Now all I do is cry and scream in frustration. I don't know what I've done to you for me to feel so badly.
It took me 5 fucking years to be brave enough to fall in love and tell you that I did. Now I feel like shit and honestly worthless. It has taken me a lot of tears to get through the death of Marc and to try and move on.
Falling for you has been one of the best and worst things to happen to me. But I do not regret it one bit. I will always love you. Please just understand if you read this that I always will. I will never be in another relationship. You were my last hope.
Please take care Seth. Maybe one day I will get to meet you, one could only hope.
p.s. I love you
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Dear Seth,
Even though I am frustrated with you at the moment I just wanted to tell you that I love you with all of my heart. I don't think that there is a person in the world that dedicates so much of their time to a single person such as myself. But I don't mind one bit. Just sayin.
Well I'm off to read and do more ltc stuff. I hope that you are having a great day. I see that you are listening to Kanye right now, so you must be in a goodish mood of sorts.
p.s. I love you
Even though I am frustrated with you at the moment I just wanted to tell you that I love you with all of my heart. I don't think that there is a person in the world that dedicates so much of their time to a single person such as myself. But I don't mind one bit. Just sayin.
Well I'm off to read and do more ltc stuff. I hope that you are having a great day. I see that you are listening to Kanye right now, so you must be in a goodish mood of sorts.
p.s. I love you
Monday, October 22, 2012
Dear Seth,
I'm listening to the song that makes me think of Duelers Alley, Jayesslee - Dare You To Move. By this time next month I will be walking down that alley. If I close my eyes I can still picture every nuance. It's a very happy memory for me.
Well I'm going to let you go for now. I hope that everything is going ok for you Seth. At least I got a one liner email from you today. That made me happy :) Please at least be honest and tell me if I have done anything wrong, because I sometimes feel that I have and it hurts big time.
I hope that you have a good rest of the night and sweet dreams. Good night.
p.s. I love you
I'm listening to the song that makes me think of Duelers Alley, Jayesslee - Dare You To Move. By this time next month I will be walking down that alley. If I close my eyes I can still picture every nuance. It's a very happy memory for me.
Well I'm going to let you go for now. I hope that everything is going ok for you Seth. At least I got a one liner email from you today. That made me happy :) Please at least be honest and tell me if I have done anything wrong, because I sometimes feel that I have and it hurts big time.
I hope that you have a good rest of the night and sweet dreams. Good night.
p.s. I love you
Dear Seth,
You blink your eyes shut, I open mine. You breathe in, I breathe out. You have blond hair, while I have brown. You are tall, I am short. You are mostly an introvert, I am mainly an extrovert. You frown, I smile. You like dark music, I like happy. You are a Leo, I am an Aquarius.
Though there are many differences between us. Fate brought us together for a specific reason. Please just once open your eyes and don't be afraid to challenge the unknown.
p.s. I love you
Dear Seth,
Yes I did post this on ltc but I wanted to share this here as well. This is who I am and who I always will be.
p.s. I love you
Yes I did post this on ltc but I wanted to share this here as well. This is who I am and who I always will be.
See for most of my life I have been ruthlessly teased for how I looked. And now that I'm an adult some of those insecurities have followed me.
Though I may look and act like an extrovert I classify myself as an introvert at heart. I like my space and I like my quiet time to just sit and ponder the facts surrounding the universe.
I prefer reading a book a thousand pages long compared to watching movies.
My food habits are really weird. I like mayonnaise on just about everything. I will mix everything on my plate ( especially if I'm having eggs and pancakes for breakfast ), it just tastes better that way to me. If I had a choice between water or Pepsi, water will win every time ( but I swear Coke runs through these veins ).
On my freakier side I've always thought about being a Suicide Girl ( never would have the body for that ) or even try my hand at roller derby ( I'm too nice for that as well ).
But there is one thing that I have always done no matter what. And that is love deeply and passionately. I have never judged a person for their religion, ethnicity or lifestyle.
Now you know a little more about me and my inner private thoughts. I hope that you don't mind.
Hugs and tons of love,
Georgina
p.s. I love you
Dear Seth,
This morning I am still tearing up about last night. People from all over supported what I had done by getting rid of that asshole that was totally pissing me off. If there are any ltc'ers reading this I sincerely thank you from the top to the bottom of my heart.
But there is one person, who I have honestly no clue is, that I would love to thank the most. Maybe they are reading this as well. And to that nameless person I hope that you don't mind me sharing your letter. I am about to cry again just reading it.
"You know what Seth.
I don't want to come off as pushy or insensitive. But Georgina loves you so much. She works so hard on this website. She puts a lot of time and effort and helps so many people, especially in the chat part of the site. She writes you letters so often. She hasn't stopped loving you.
I think it's about time you loved her back.
If anyone deserves a happy ending, it's Georgina. And you could give her it."
This morning I am still tearing up about last night. People from all over supported what I had done by getting rid of that asshole that was totally pissing me off. If there are any ltc'ers reading this I sincerely thank you from the top to the bottom of my heart.
But there is one person, who I have honestly no clue is, that I would love to thank the most. Maybe they are reading this as well. And to that nameless person I hope that you don't mind me sharing your letter. I am about to cry again just reading it.
"You know what Seth.
I don't want to come off as pushy or insensitive. But Georgina loves you so much. She works so hard on this website. She puts a lot of time and effort and helps so many people, especially in the chat part of the site. She writes you letters so often. She hasn't stopped loving you.
I think it's about time you loved her back.
If anyone deserves a happy ending, it's Georgina. And you could give her it."
Seth I hope that you are doing ok, even though I received a short email from you this morning. FYI which made me smile and cry as well. Dear God you set my heart to tripping wildly.
Take care my love and I hope that you have a blessed and lovely rest of the day.
p.s. I love you
Take care my love and I hope that you have a blessed and lovely rest of the day.
p.s. I love you
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Saturday, October 20, 2012
Dear Seth,
I'm doing a lot better, thankfully. Not too much is new accept that I'll be finally getting the hard drive that I need. I spent the better part of 6 hours just waiting for them to back up my hard drive. Sitting and watching college football can really drain a person. And yeah BSU won, of course ;). I don't like their new uniforms though.
I hope that everything is well with you Seth. I worry so much. You are the best thing that's happened to me in a long time. I never thought that I would recover from Marc death, but you were there. Always have been too. I was just too stupid to realize it though.
Well I think that I'm going to go home early so that I can wake up bright eyed and bushey tailed in the morning. I didn't get to bed until 4:30 am and woke up at 8:30 am. I pray that tonight I dream of you Mr.
p.s. I love you
I'm doing a lot better, thankfully. Not too much is new accept that I'll be finally getting the hard drive that I need. I spent the better part of 6 hours just waiting for them to back up my hard drive. Sitting and watching college football can really drain a person. And yeah BSU won, of course ;). I don't like their new uniforms though.
I hope that everything is well with you Seth. I worry so much. You are the best thing that's happened to me in a long time. I never thought that I would recover from Marc death, but you were there. Always have been too. I was just too stupid to realize it though.
Well I think that I'm going to go home early so that I can wake up bright eyed and bushey tailed in the morning. I didn't get to bed until 4:30 am and woke up at 8:30 am. I pray that tonight I dream of you Mr.
p.s. I love you
Friday, October 19, 2012
Dear Seth,
Ugh this really blows. I'm feeling really yucky, so I don't know if I'll be on ltc to help with anything. I'm going to the doctors and see what's wrong. I know part of it but I don't want to say it here. And to be honest I'm scared as hell.
But whatever happens know that I love you Seth Hayward so very much, and I always have. I've tried to write you some of the most beautiful letters that I can so that one day you can look up on them and know that someone out there in the world cared for you so.
Just once in my life I wish I could hear your voice.
Good night and sweet dreams Seth.
p.s. I love you so much
Ugh this really blows. I'm feeling really yucky, so I don't know if I'll be on ltc to help with anything. I'm going to the doctors and see what's wrong. I know part of it but I don't want to say it here. And to be honest I'm scared as hell.
But whatever happens know that I love you Seth Hayward so very much, and I always have. I've tried to write you some of the most beautiful letters that I can so that one day you can look up on them and know that someone out there in the world cared for you so.
Just once in my life I wish I could hear your voice.
Good night and sweet dreams Seth.
p.s. I love you so much
Dear Seth,
Good morning love. I woke with a song on my brain and love in my heart. Closing my eyes I can picture myself at the pier swinging and looking up at the stars, or even across the bay at all the city lights. I can't wait to be back there in Charleston.
I hope that your day is going well and that you are smiling like me.
Write more to you later.
p.s. I love you
Good morning love. I woke with a song on my brain and love in my heart. Closing my eyes I can picture myself at the pier swinging and looking up at the stars, or even across the bay at all the city lights. I can't wait to be back there in Charleston.
I hope that your day is going well and that you are smiling like me.
Write more to you later.
p.s. I love you
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Dear Seth,
Ugh I'm going home early. Really tired. I've been up since like 5:30am and it's now going on almost 10pm. I wish that I dream of you tonight. Cause I know I will of Duelers Alley.
Good night sweetheart and see you then. I hope that your day went well. And I hope that you smiled. God I know that would take my breath away.
p.s. I love you
Ugh I'm going home early. Really tired. I've been up since like 5:30am and it's now going on almost 10pm. I wish that I dream of you tonight. Cause I know I will of Duelers Alley.
Good night sweetheart and see you then. I hope that your day went well. And I hope that you smiled. God I know that would take my breath away.
p.s. I love you
Dear Seth,
10:00 am ish:
Good morning. I hope you are smiling like myself. No I didn't dream of you, sadly. But I am happy and still in love with the most sexiest man to walk the earth. Today feels like a new beginning for me.
4:15 pm:
Now Good Afternoon ;) I will have a chance at unadulterated happiness for the first time in a very long while. I am coming back to Charleston soon. I don't know when for sure but I am coming and I can't wait.
Ok now I know this is a wee bit off topic but what is up with all of the letters being written to me? I've had one under my pseudonym and 3 others with my name in it and one directly to me. I'm just stupefied at the moment but very happy. And I'm all smiles as well.
I hope that everything is going well with you Seth. It seems that you are in a slump once again, and it's sad because I just want to tell you ever little tidbit that's going on but I feel like I'm bugging you so I don't. Just know that I love you so so so so much, no matter what. And would do anything within my power for you as well.
Well I'm off to read more letters. :)
p.s. I love you
10:00 am ish:
Good morning. I hope you are smiling like myself. No I didn't dream of you, sadly. But I am happy and still in love with the most sexiest man to walk the earth. Today feels like a new beginning for me.
4:15 pm:
Now Good Afternoon ;) I will have a chance at unadulterated happiness for the first time in a very long while. I am coming back to Charleston soon. I don't know when for sure but I am coming and I can't wait.
Ok now I know this is a wee bit off topic but what is up with all of the letters being written to me? I've had one under my pseudonym and 3 others with my name in it and one directly to me. I'm just stupefied at the moment but very happy. And I'm all smiles as well.
I hope that everything is going well with you Seth. It seems that you are in a slump once again, and it's sad because I just want to tell you ever little tidbit that's going on but I feel like I'm bugging you so I don't. Just know that I love you so so so so much, no matter what. And would do anything within my power for you as well.
Well I'm off to read more letters. :)
p.s. I love you
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Dear Seth,
This is how I explained you are different and special to me in a comment. Though it never will explain everything fully.
Challenge accepted. He is the first guy that I am not able to put one finger on and fully explain why I love him like I do. It's everything that I can feel, smell,see, or hear that surrounds me. It's the smiles and peels of laughter coming from a baby. It's the times that he leaves me speechless or when I cry. It's the way the light hits the trees at sunset. I could go on and on but that would never fully explain why he is different.
p.s. I love you
This is how I explained you are different and special to me in a comment. Though it never will explain everything fully.
Challenge accepted. He is the first guy that I am not able to put one finger on and fully explain why I love him like I do. It's everything that I can feel, smell,see, or hear that surrounds me. It's the smiles and peels of laughter coming from a baby. It's the times that he leaves me speechless or when I cry. It's the way the light hits the trees at sunset. I could go on and on but that would never fully explain why he is different.
p.s. I love you
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
Dear Seth,
I hope that everything is ok. I saw that there was an earthquake in Maine. I hope that your family and friends are well.
This is turning out to be another cruddy day for me. My ex husband isn't responding to my texts or the singular voice mail that I left him concerning his ex that is now stalking and badgering me. It's leaving me quite scared. I once again have to look over my shoulder and she just made it that much more harder to trust anyone, except for one person, the person that I need the most right now. You Seth.
Please just let tomorrow be better for me. Email me or something. I just need to know that you are ok. Well I better get back and see about chat and all of that stuff.
Write to you later.
p.s. I love you
I hope that everything is ok. I saw that there was an earthquake in Maine. I hope that your family and friends are well.
This is turning out to be another cruddy day for me. My ex husband isn't responding to my texts or the singular voice mail that I left him concerning his ex that is now stalking and badgering me. It's leaving me quite scared. I once again have to look over my shoulder and she just made it that much more harder to trust anyone, except for one person, the person that I need the most right now. You Seth.
Please just let tomorrow be better for me. Email me or something. I just need to know that you are ok. Well I better get back and see about chat and all of that stuff.
Write to you later.
p.s. I love you
Dear Seth,
I'm sorry that I wasn't not able to once again to write to you. Damn fucking internet. :) Last night was really hard for me. I'm so damn scared now. This girl has a lot over me. Though most are lies. They could damage me. God I hope she doesn't try to contact you. This is the one place that I thought that I really could be safe from all of that. And I don't know anymore. I just really don't. But whatever happens know that I love you so much.
p.s. I love you
I'm sorry that I wasn't not able to once again to write to you. Damn fucking internet. :) Last night was really hard for me. I'm so damn scared now. This girl has a lot over me. Though most are lies. They could damage me. God I hope she doesn't try to contact you. This is the one place that I thought that I really could be safe from all of that. And I don't know anymore. I just really don't. But whatever happens know that I love you so much.
p.s. I love you
Monday, October 15, 2012
Dear Seth,
I found a new song. And it's freaking beautiful. I love it. And it reminds me of you so much.
Run - Snow Patrol.
I found a new song. And it's freaking beautiful. I love it. And it reminds me of you so much.
Run - Snow Patrol.
I'll sing it one last time for you
Then we really have to go
You've been the only thing that's right
In all I've done.
And I can barely look at you
But every single time I do
I know we'll make it anywhere
Away from here
[Chorus]
Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear
Louder, louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say
To think I might not see those eyes
It makes it so hard not to cry
And as we say our long goodbyes
I nearly do.
[Chorus]
Slower, slower
We don't have time for that
All I want is to find an easier way
To get out of our little heads
Have heart my dear
We're bound to be afraid
Even if it's just for a few days
Making up for all this mess.
Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear
Then we really have to go
You've been the only thing that's right
In all I've done.
And I can barely look at you
But every single time I do
I know we'll make it anywhere
Away from here
[Chorus]
Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear
Louder, louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say
To think I might not see those eyes
It makes it so hard not to cry
And as we say our long goodbyes
I nearly do.
[Chorus]
Slower, slower
We don't have time for that
All I want is to find an easier way
To get out of our little heads
Have heart my dear
We're bound to be afraid
Even if it's just for a few days
Making up for all this mess.
Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear
Dear Seth,
Letters to crushes has definitely become a big focal point in my life as you have become. Thank you so much love. It means a lot that I am now able to do something for at least one person. Maybe that person all along has been myself. I don't know. We shall see.
So for now I will go and try to keep your site beautiful. May you have a great rest of the day and sunshine, though I see it's cloudy there. Smile :)
p.s. I love you
Letters to crushes has definitely become a big focal point in my life as you have become. Thank you so much love. It means a lot that I am now able to do something for at least one person. Maybe that person all along has been myself. I don't know. We shall see.
So for now I will go and try to keep your site beautiful. May you have a great rest of the day and sunshine, though I see it's cloudy there. Smile :)
p.s. I love you
Sunday, October 14, 2012
Dear Seth,
I'm sorry that I was not able to write to you here last night. Issues with the internet. Meh go figure. It was an okay night you could say. I dreamed of you though I don't know what of. It's faded only to come up in my thoughts at a time where I per chance need it most, well one could only wish.
There are still issues with uh the unsavory characters that are posting about disgusting things which I will not mention here. Though some are really funny I do go ahead and delete them.
And one other thing. It seems that I have someone that is stalking my letters to you. I so want to keep writing to you as I do but it's honestly a little frighting at the same time as well. This person needs to really stop doing this. She's also stalking chat too.
I write as I do to you like I do because it's the only way to keep my anonymity yet have you know how I feel about you and what is going through my head. And I'm sure that you know who I am. All you have to do is look at the ip addresses from which I write as myself and uh the other person.
I'm not ready to give up who I am but I never thought that it would go this far either. My intent was to never lead anyone on or give them the wrong impression. I fear that I may break a few hearts and I don't want that to happen.
Now to go and read more letters to make sure this idiot that's posting about poop isn't also again doing it in other peoples letters too. You are so going to owe me one of these days Mr. Hayward and I know exactly what I am going to demand too. ;)
p.s. I love you
I'm sorry that I was not able to write to you here last night. Issues with the internet. Meh go figure. It was an okay night you could say. I dreamed of you though I don't know what of. It's faded only to come up in my thoughts at a time where I per chance need it most, well one could only wish.
There are still issues with uh the unsavory characters that are posting about disgusting things which I will not mention here. Though some are really funny I do go ahead and delete them.
And one other thing. It seems that I have someone that is stalking my letters to you. I so want to keep writing to you as I do but it's honestly a little frighting at the same time as well. This person needs to really stop doing this. She's also stalking chat too.
I write as I do to you like I do because it's the only way to keep my anonymity yet have you know how I feel about you and what is going through my head. And I'm sure that you know who I am. All you have to do is look at the ip addresses from which I write as myself and uh the other person.
I'm not ready to give up who I am but I never thought that it would go this far either. My intent was to never lead anyone on or give them the wrong impression. I fear that I may break a few hearts and I don't want that to happen.
Now to go and read more letters to make sure this idiot that's posting about poop isn't also again doing it in other peoples letters too. You are so going to owe me one of these days Mr. Hayward and I know exactly what I am going to demand too. ;)
p.s. I love you
Saturday, October 13, 2012
Dear Seth,
I don't know why. Maybe it's the melancholy over cast day here but I miss talking to you through email or on chat. And it doesn't help that I'm listening to Mumford and Sons After The Storm. Someday I hope to say that I don't have to miss you anymore because you'll be right by my side. Ah someday. Oh and not to forget to say that I love you with every tick of the clock and the in between. Thank you for being in my life Seth.
p.s. I love you
I don't know why. Maybe it's the melancholy over cast day here but I miss talking to you through email or on chat. And it doesn't help that I'm listening to Mumford and Sons After The Storm. Someday I hope to say that I don't have to miss you anymore because you'll be right by my side. Ah someday. Oh and not to forget to say that I love you with every tick of the clock and the in between. Thank you for being in my life Seth.
p.s. I love you
Friday, October 12, 2012
Dear Seth,
I just want to thank you for giving me the next greatest gift a guy could ever give. Thank you. I finally have a chance to give a some meaning in someones life, much bigger than before. This I will not mess up. Promise.
Tonight I will walk home smiling knowing that I am in love with one of the greatest human beings to ever walk this earth; past, present or future.
And for all of you reading this I hope that you find the same in the person you love. If not you are missing out on one of the greatest and grandest emotions ever to befit a human being.
Seth Hayward I hope that you know you are one very special person in a lot of peoples lives, including my own. Never doubt that you are amazing. And if anyone says different let them speak to me. I will tell them all about you.
Good night and sweet dreams Seth. May your day be peaceful and happy. Oh yeah and smile bitch :P
p.s. I love you
I just want to thank you for giving me the next greatest gift a guy could ever give. Thank you. I finally have a chance to give a some meaning in someones life, much bigger than before. This I will not mess up. Promise.
Tonight I will walk home smiling knowing that I am in love with one of the greatest human beings to ever walk this earth; past, present or future.
And for all of you reading this I hope that you find the same in the person you love. If not you are missing out on one of the greatest and grandest emotions ever to befit a human being.
Seth Hayward I hope that you know you are one very special person in a lot of peoples lives, including my own. Never doubt that you are amazing. And if anyone says different let them speak to me. I will tell them all about you.
Good night and sweet dreams Seth. May your day be peaceful and happy. Oh yeah and smile bitch :P
p.s. I love you
Dear Seth,
I haven't recently posted anything that I've written from ltc to here but I think that this is warranted. I am so friggin in love with you now. Thank you for everything.
I don't know what I did to deserve a person like you. What did I do? Seriously. And this trust that you have given me I will guard with my life.
All those 11:11 wishes and blowing all the fluff off weeds as a kid is finally coming true, in some small way. All those nights of wishing that there was someone out there to hear my dreams, I no longer have to wonder.
Thank you God for giving that man that I've always dreamed about a decent head on his shoulders, a good and kind heart and most of all a beautiful soul.
Never again will I doubt the power of a wish or a prayer, just because it isn't granted to me in a timely manner.
p.s. I love you
I haven't recently posted anything that I've written from ltc to here but I think that this is warranted. I am so friggin in love with you now. Thank you for everything.
I don't know what I did to deserve a person like you. What did I do? Seriously. And this trust that you have given me I will guard with my life.
All those 11:11 wishes and blowing all the fluff off weeds as a kid is finally coming true, in some small way. All those nights of wishing that there was someone out there to hear my dreams, I no longer have to wonder.
Thank you God for giving that man that I've always dreamed about a decent head on his shoulders, a good and kind heart and most of all a beautiful soul.
Never again will I doubt the power of a wish or a prayer, just because it isn't granted to me in a timely manner.
p.s. I love you
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Dear Seth,
I just want to say good night to you. I think now you know who I write as. Please be okay with it. It's the only real form of communication that I have with you at the moment. I love you more than life Seth. Thank you for emailing me back as soon as you did. Meant the world to me. Still does too. I wish that you'd Skype because I do have questions about disqus and I'm better at learning how to do it with someone there to teach me. Not that I don't want to see your face or hear your voice. I just want to be able to better help every one on ltc.
Well I'm off for the night. I'm back at my cafe finally. So unnerving being where I was. It was okay but still you know. Different and uneasy.
May you dream peacefully and no nightmares become you. I wish I was there to be there to comfort you in some small way. I will be soon but it's not soon enough.
Good night Seth Hayward.
Tha gaol agam ort.
p.s I lovee you
I just want to say good night to you. I think now you know who I write as. Please be okay with it. It's the only real form of communication that I have with you at the moment. I love you more than life Seth. Thank you for emailing me back as soon as you did. Meant the world to me. Still does too. I wish that you'd Skype because I do have questions about disqus and I'm better at learning how to do it with someone there to teach me. Not that I don't want to see your face or hear your voice. I just want to be able to better help every one on ltc.
Well I'm off for the night. I'm back at my cafe finally. So unnerving being where I was. It was okay but still you know. Different and uneasy.
May you dream peacefully and no nightmares become you. I wish I was there to be there to comfort you in some small way. I will be soon but it's not soon enough.
Good night Seth Hayward.
Tha gaol agam ort.
p.s I lovee you
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Dear Seth,
Know matter what mind frame you may be in remember that someone cares for you so much. And tonight it hit me that I really am in love with you. I literally was tearing up thinking that wow a punch in the stomach thought of you.
I thought it was kind of cute that someone wanted to know your story and how letters to crushes came to be.
Anyways I hope you're having a great night and have sweet dreams.
p.s. I love you
Know matter what mind frame you may be in remember that someone cares for you so much. And tonight it hit me that I really am in love with you. I literally was tearing up thinking that wow a punch in the stomach thought of you.
I thought it was kind of cute that someone wanted to know your story and how letters to crushes came to be.
Anyways I hope you're having a great night and have sweet dreams.
p.s. I love you
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
Dear Seth,
I'm still smiling tonight as I end my day. You have a very profound effect on me. For why and what I do not know why. But I like it very much.
Please if you read this I would love a text or a call from you so much. Though I really don't know you I miss you. Weird huh? Yeah I know that I am but hahaha :)
And don't stay up too late Mr.
Tonight when I close my eyes I'll be wishing that I was in Charleston walking down Dueler's Alley. I miss it there so fucking much. I can't wait to go back.
Tha gaol agam ort.
p.s. I love you
I'm still smiling tonight as I end my day. You have a very profound effect on me. For why and what I do not know why. But I like it very much.
Please if you read this I would love a text or a call from you so much. Though I really don't know you I miss you. Weird huh? Yeah I know that I am but hahaha :)
And don't stay up too late Mr.
Tonight when I close my eyes I'll be wishing that I was in Charleston walking down Dueler's Alley. I miss it there so fucking much. I can't wait to go back.
Tha gaol agam ort.
p.s. I love you
Monday, October 8, 2012
Dear Seth,
Tonight I think that I did my best letter yet. I hope you read that one too.
Damn I don't know why Mr. Hayward but every sentence that I write I want to tell you that I love you so very much. One day I would like to be able to tell you in person, that is before I pass out. :)
Tonight I think that I just might dream about you. Blessed be I pray that I do. I've missed hearing your voice and seeing what you look like ( though I really know nothing of either ).
More than anything I would love love love to see your smile.
Well I have to get some sleep ;) So good night and sweet dreams my love may you have a great day tomorrow.
p.s. I love you
Tonight I think that I did my best letter yet. I hope you read that one too.
Damn I don't know why Mr. Hayward but every sentence that I write I want to tell you that I love you so very much. One day I would like to be able to tell you in person, that is before I pass out. :)
Tonight I think that I just might dream about you. Blessed be I pray that I do. I've missed hearing your voice and seeing what you look like ( though I really know nothing of either ).
More than anything I would love love love to see your smile.
Well I have to get some sleep ;) So good night and sweet dreams my love may you have a great day tomorrow.
p.s. I love you
Dear Seth,
Even though it was a few simple lines I FREAKING HEARD FROM YOU!!!!!!!!!!! You don't know how happy that has made me. I am so damn emotional that I'm even crying at happy songs. What the fuck? Now I want to be in Charleston even more. This is so not fair being almost 2,500 miles from you. That is all that I have for now.
Tha gaol agam ort.
p.s. I love you
Even though it was a few simple lines I FREAKING HEARD FROM YOU!!!!!!!!!!! You don't know how happy that has made me. I am so damn emotional that I'm even crying at happy songs. What the fuck? Now I want to be in Charleston even more. This is so not fair being almost 2,500 miles from you. That is all that I have for now.
Tha gaol agam ort.
p.s. I love you
Sunday, October 7, 2012
Dear Seth,
Tha gaol agam ort.
Yah I do too. Very much so.
I see that you're listening to you dark and depressing music right now. It hurts to know that you might be in so much pain. Please just let me help you in some way Seth. I've tried reaching out but I don't know what else to do other than keep writing to you as I do here and on your website.
And please don't shut down on my again like you did. Look I know that you're going through shit but did you know that it's also hurting me in the process? It took almost 5 months to freaking email you again and bawl you out for that crap.
Damn it Hayward I think that you know I hate flying but if I have to I WILL get on a plane and fly to South Carolina just to yell at your ass and make you see the light of day. I freaking care about you get over it and start acting like the man I know you are not this corporeal thing I don't like one bit.
But even though I am saying all this I want you to know that I really do love you so very much. You have broke me out of my shell, out of the heart break that could have killed me if I had let it. So you know what? I am going to fight for you even if it ruins me. You are my life now and without you I am nothing. And that's the truth.
I hope that you have a great night and sweet dreams Seth. And please take care of yourself. I hate worrying like this so much.
p.s. I love you
Tha gaol agam ort.
Yah I do too. Very much so.
I see that you're listening to you dark and depressing music right now. It hurts to know that you might be in so much pain. Please just let me help you in some way Seth. I've tried reaching out but I don't know what else to do other than keep writing to you as I do here and on your website.
And please don't shut down on my again like you did. Look I know that you're going through shit but did you know that it's also hurting me in the process? It took almost 5 months to freaking email you again and bawl you out for that crap.
Damn it Hayward I think that you know I hate flying but if I have to I WILL get on a plane and fly to South Carolina just to yell at your ass and make you see the light of day. I freaking care about you get over it and start acting like the man I know you are not this corporeal thing I don't like one bit.
But even though I am saying all this I want you to know that I really do love you so very much. You have broke me out of my shell, out of the heart break that could have killed me if I had let it. So you know what? I am going to fight for you even if it ruins me. You are my life now and without you I am nothing. And that's the truth.
I hope that you have a great night and sweet dreams Seth. And please take care of yourself. I hate worrying like this so much.
p.s. I love you
Saturday, October 6, 2012
Dear Seth,
Every freaking day that I see a letter posted to Liam fro Anya I fall in love with you a little more. My heart contracts knowing what she's going through. One day if I get the chance I want to tell Anya how much this is making me really truly fall in love with you each and every day. Wow it's like the air has been sucked out of my lungs making me dizzy.
Thank you for creating www.letterstocrushes.com Seth
p.s. I love you
Every freaking day that I see a letter posted to Liam fro Anya I fall in love with you a little more. My heart contracts knowing what she's going through. One day if I get the chance I want to tell Anya how much this is making me really truly fall in love with you each and every day. Wow it's like the air has been sucked out of my lungs making me dizzy.
Thank you for creating www.letterstocrushes.com Seth
p.s. I love you
Dear Seth,
All I would like to say is that I love you and that I'm happy. Thank you thank you thank you. Oh and weirdly enough I'm sort of learning the Scottish Gaelic language. Huh go figure. :P And I'm not even one bit Scottish either, Irish and English with a little bit of Native American thrown in.
I hope that you're having a great day. Again I wish I was in Charleston. It's market day on King street and would love to mill through everything and see it in all it's glory. Ugh well there is always next year. Can't wait for that. I fell like I've finally found a home. And can't wait to finally start my life there.
Tha gaoul agam ort.
p.s. I love you
All I would like to say is that I love you and that I'm happy. Thank you thank you thank you. Oh and weirdly enough I'm sort of learning the Scottish Gaelic language. Huh go figure. :P And I'm not even one bit Scottish either, Irish and English with a little bit of Native American thrown in.
I hope that you're having a great day. Again I wish I was in Charleston. It's market day on King street and would love to mill through everything and see it in all it's glory. Ugh well there is always next year. Can't wait for that. I fell like I've finally found a home. And can't wait to finally start my life there.
Tha gaoul agam ort.
p.s. I love you
Friday, October 5, 2012
Dear Seth,
I don't know what in the hell is going on but what ever it is please keep it up. It's making me so damn happy that I'm crying. Thank you god for listening to my prayers. Tonight I have a real reason to be happy. I think that maybe I'm cracking that barrier. Just a little and that's ok.
I have a little secret. I'm listening to what you are ( Tig Notaro) and this chick is hella funny.
p.s. I love you
I don't know what in the hell is going on but what ever it is please keep it up. It's making me so damn happy that I'm crying. Thank you god for listening to my prayers. Tonight I have a real reason to be happy. I think that maybe I'm cracking that barrier. Just a little and that's ok.
I have a little secret. I'm listening to what you are ( Tig Notaro) and this chick is hella funny.
p.s. I love you
Dear Seth,
OMG I am in love with you. Fuck I'm crying. There is a girl on your site that is dying of pancreatic cancer. Dear god I hope it's a story. Because instead of being with her Liam she's writing her thoughts on ltc. She wants her words to be heard forever.
And it's all because of you Seth Hayward. Son of a bitch I'm screwed.
p.s. I love you
OMG I am in love with you. Fuck I'm crying. There is a girl on your site that is dying of pancreatic cancer. Dear god I hope it's a story. Because instead of being with her Liam she's writing her thoughts on ltc. She wants her words to be heard forever.
And it's all because of you Seth Hayward. Son of a bitch I'm screwed.
p.s. I love you
Dear Seth,
I'm getting chills and it's not because of the weather. Coldplays's Fix You is playing over head and my hear is beating fast and tripping. I'm thinking of you. Wow. And I'm smiling now. Oh great now Augustana's Boston is on and that song reminds me of you as well. Today just might be a great day after all.
Tha gaol agam ort
p.s. I love you
I'm getting chills and it's not because of the weather. Coldplays's Fix You is playing over head and my hear is beating fast and tripping. I'm thinking of you. Wow. And I'm smiling now. Oh great now Augustana's Boston is on and that song reminds me of you as well. Today just might be a great day after all.
Tha gaol agam ort
p.s. I love you
Thursday, October 4, 2012
Dear Seth,
Even if the skies get rough, I won't give up. I love you too much. I can't. Sorry bub ya got me for life, whether you like it or not.
Tonight, even though I haven't heard from you, I'm happy. I think that I have some validation in that you've found me out. I hope you don't mind. It's the only way that I'm really able to get my feelings across to you. And to let you know that you matter to me more than a passing thing.
So Seth if you read this tonight you'll know for sure who I write as.
Tha gaol agam ort. And I do with all of my heart and soul.
p.s. I love you
Even if the skies get rough, I won't give up. I love you too much. I can't. Sorry bub ya got me for life, whether you like it or not.
Tonight, even though I haven't heard from you, I'm happy. I think that I have some validation in that you've found me out. I hope you don't mind. It's the only way that I'm really able to get my feelings across to you. And to let you know that you matter to me more than a passing thing.
So Seth if you read this tonight you'll know for sure who I write as.
Tha gaol agam ort. And I do with all of my heart and soul.
p.s. I love you
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
Dear Seth,
I now know what you're going through. I am so very sorry. It hurts my heart to see you going through this. Just know that I will be here for you always, even if I'm ticked. It's not you doing this intentionally. I will always be by you side through thick and thin.
I have been looking at ways to be able to get through this and even thought about doing like a support group. I'm willing to do anything and everything I can to understand. Just can't give up on you. You are my life, my heart and enviably my soul.
Please be ok tonight. I've made my wish on a star. That wish has and always be that you know that you're loved with a twist that you're ok and safe.
Seth thank you for being in my life.
p.s. I love you
I now know what you're going through. I am so very sorry. It hurts my heart to see you going through this. Just know that I will be here for you always, even if I'm ticked. It's not you doing this intentionally. I will always be by you side through thick and thin.
I have been looking at ways to be able to get through this and even thought about doing like a support group. I'm willing to do anything and everything I can to understand. Just can't give up on you. You are my life, my heart and enviably my soul.
Please be ok tonight. I've made my wish on a star. That wish has and always be that you know that you're loved with a twist that you're ok and safe.
Seth thank you for being in my life.
p.s. I love you
I Won't Give Up ( Cover ) - Alex G
Dear Seth,
I just wanted to say I love you so very much. That is all. I'm sorry I can't give up on you.
p.s. I love you
I just wanted to say I love you so very much. That is all. I'm sorry I can't give up on you.
p.s. I love you
Monday, October 1, 2012
Dear Seth,
I miss you in what ever form you would deem yourself to appear in, so fucking much right now. Please. Like now would be good. Writing like this hurts because someone has taken the other roll and idk if that's really you. Give me some sign. I'm begging. I love you, I love you, I love you. If people ever found out who I am I don't think that it would go down good.
I'm sitting here crying listening to this song, even though it's beautifully sung. Just fucking miss you so much Hayward. p.s. I love you
I miss you in what ever form you would deem yourself to appear in, so fucking much right now. Please. Like now would be good. Writing like this hurts because someone has taken the other roll and idk if that's really you. Give me some sign. I'm begging. I love you, I love you, I love you. If people ever found out who I am I don't think that it would go down good.
I'm sitting here crying listening to this song, even though it's beautifully sung. Just fucking miss you so much Hayward. p.s. I love you
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