Dear Seth,

I just don't know what to do anymore. Can't believe that I just admitted to someone on chat that I still love you. But it hurts so bad how things went down. Bad. Never have I felt at a loss for words. I'm scared to email you when it has to do with ltc because I don't know what you'll end up saying. My heart didn't need this after the loss of Marc. But yet here I am pinning away after you Mr. Hayward. Fuck fuck fuck. 

Anyways I'm going to do laundry and then go to the beach to be at peace. Would be nice to see you there too. No I know that's just fucking wishful thinking but still.....

p.s. I love you