Look I know that you probably don't want to hear it but tough shit, deal with it because I'm about to speak my mind.

It took my 5 fucking years to gather up all the courage that I had to tell someone that I loved them. I mean LOVED them. It was you dude. After what my ex husband had told me all of those years I believed it day in and day out. Then you came along. You were sweet and charming and I though intelligent as well.

It's not that you shot me down. You fucking broke my heart. I have been in love with you for almost a year. A fucking YEAR dude. For most of that time I kept silent because I was too afraid to take the leap and tell anyone that I loved them again. I know that you are going through a lot of shit. Believe me so am I, but that's no stupid ass reason to take it out on me. That is not forgivable.

Every time I would chat or email with you I felt beautiful and wanted. I smiled and laughed freely. Now it's all forced even if people think it's natural. And I believed how I felt too. Now I can't trust anyone. I don't believe anything anyone has to say. I'll never tell anyone again that I love them. You were my last hope. And it fucking broke me bad.

Now I'm left feeling lost and very alone and I always will be. And when I either meet you in heaven or hell you will hear from me. I will be waiting. You can count on that. I'm so tired of being unhappy and crying all the time. I just want it to stop.