Dear Seth,

I know what they are testing me for now. I thought that it would be breast cancer. It's sadly not. The doctor began asking me all of these questions that I thought were honestly about pre menopause. I won't go into detail here though :).

So I did a little investigating and right now I'm a little scared. I haven't even told Kim about it. She just knows that they are testing for breast cancer. I don't have the strength to tell her. She's my best friend and I just can't. It would devastate her to pieces.

Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma. I'm nauseous just looking at those words. But I am not going to let this be a sentence I am going to live like I never had before. There is just too much in the world that I have yet to accomplish.

Please Seth if you have any heart just let me know that I'm not alone. Any word or words or comfort would be greatly appreciated. I hate feeling like this.

I hope that you had a great day. And that you smiled at least once. Now you're probably asleep and dreaming. How I would love to be a part of those dreams. Goodnight.

p.s. I love you