My heart is squeezing right now. Trying to contemplate what in the fuck I have just done. By the way what did I just do? Did I now mess everything up? Will he ever speak to me? Please God I've prayed so much to you about this. You know what I've been through in life. I dang well deserve happiness and not be lonely for the rest of my life like my mom.

I don't have the heart to tell her that the guy that she was happy with in Joplin is most likely dead after tornado few years ago. I've seen her heart break. I've seen the bruises that her ex husband gave her and I don't think that she'll ever be normal because of it. I don't want to be like her. Please. I'm begging.

Good night.